Oils from Bartolome Estaban Murillo (1617-1682, Sevilla)
Monday, December 15, 2008
Here we are again in our cozy homes among our beloved families and friends awaiting to celebrate Christmas. When I'm thinking back all of the Christmas Eves, a very vivid picture comes to my mind from my early childhood; not only the joyful celebration, but the brutal force of the destruction of mankind.
World War II was raging its last leg in Europe, and Hungary was the centre of the battle field. Russian troops were moving in rapidly through the Easter borders, while the German invaders were forced to retreat to the West.
I'm sitting at the table with my Mother and brother, eating our meager Christmas Eve dinner of ham and potatoes, and my Mother's "kalacs", the Hungarian bread for special holidays. Our only guest is a man, who is a teacher in the local grade school, but also the father of our little playmates. He came alone to us, because his family already had left to join their relatives in a larger city, but he had to stay and teach until Christmas vacation. He came to say "Good-bye" before he will take the journey to join them. There is a deep sadness in the air above our table that was disturbed only by the distant explosions. My brother and I are eating with huge gulps, and hardly can wait until the dinner is finished.
Our custom is that the unwrapped presents and the decorated tree are hidden behind closed doors until the dinner is finished on Christmas Eve. The living room door was locked all day while my Mother was doing "house cleaning" in there; but my brother and I know for sure that behind this door the glorious surprise is waiting for us. And when we all finish our dinner, my Mother opens the door and walks into the dark room. We just sit there waiting for the little sound of the bell to run into the room where the tree candles are glowing and the sparklers are trowing little fireworks all around us. We are joining hands for few minutes to sing the Christmas carols and to think of our loved ones. The Teacher sings with us joyfully, but his eyes are clouded with tears. It's time for him to take his journey, and after the last hugs he disappears in the cold and dark winter night.
This is a special night for us, and my brother and I are staying up for few more extra hours to explore and enjoy our presents before going to bed. But on this night that never happens, the gunshots and the explosions are getting much closer, and my Mother turns off all the lights. In the now dark house she bundles us all up and we fled on foot to a neighborhood bunker.
That was the last time we saw our Christmas tree that year, because our home got partially destroyed and we had to take shelter with friends in the next couple of months until we were able to return to our home to pick up the pieces of our lives.
I wanted to share this story with my best wishes for the Holidays to appreciate our freedom.
Peace on Earth, and Blessed Christmas to All!
Friday, December 5, 2008
You know, time has a way of moving quickly and catching you unaware of the passing years.
It seems just yesterday that I was young, just married and embarking on my new life with my mate. And yet in a way, it seems like eons ago, and I wonder where all the years went. I know that I lived them all...
And I have glimpses of how it was back then and of all my hopes and dreams... But, here it is...the Winter of my life and it catches me by surprise... How did I get here so fast? Where did the years go, and where did my babies go? And where did my youth go?
And so, now I enter into this new season of my life unprepared for all the aches and pains and the loss of strength and ability to go and do things I wish I had done but never did!!
But, at least I know, that though the Winter has come, and I'm not sure how long it will last...this I know, that when it's over...it's over...
Yes, I have regrets. There are things I wish I hadn't done...things I should have done, but indeed, there are many things I'm happy to have done. It's all in a lifetime..........
Ah, yes where did they go?????